focus on ya vibes
look: the right people will get it. the right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are. the right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection. you don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you
I had a broken tooth and you had a shitty car that sang at certain speeds. I was holding my bleeding mouth but we were all laughing. You were the only one who was worried. Speeding to the doctor with your hands at ten and two, sending me the occasional look and asking if it hurts, does it hurt.
All the memories of you do.
Another One About Us
I am pretending the rot in me is temporary. That I can spoon it out with food or stranger’s bodies or driving too quickly. That if I just treat the symptoms I will wake up okay. You can cut me open and I’d probably thank you for it. I’m just fine if you don’t look directly. The sun is a closed fist. But what can I say. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. I’m just bad at being whole. I’m good at ugly.
i take my vitamins but i eat a cupcake for breakfast. i talk to people but i keep them at a distance, don’t let them know anything that could get them close. i go to therapy but when she says “i think that’s an unhealthy coping mechanism” i laugh it off. i’m trying to take care of myself but it’s hard. like loving a gift you didn’t even want.
